If you are a Jupiter divorced parent of minor children, you are likely already familiar with the terms “timesharing” and “parenting plan”. If you’re a soon-to-be divorced Jupiter parent, you need to understand these concepts because they will be VERY important to your family for many years to come.
Where did these new terms come from?
The old concepts of child custody and visitation have been replaced in Florida courts with the terms parenting plans and timesharing, respectively. They fall under the greater heading of “Shared Parenting.” Florida courts decided it was in the children’s best interests to have both parents as intimately involved in their children’s lives as possible, even though the parents are divorced.
The new phrasing was also designed to eliminate any misperceptions that one parent was superior to the other, or that the other was “less” of a parent. In other words, parents don’t have “visitation” with their child; that implies a detached, less-than-parent role. Rather, parents have rights, and so do children: Parents should spend time with their child, be intimately involved in their lives, and work together to raise the children. In this way, the family unit is preserved as much as reasonably possible, despite the fact that the parents are no longer married or living together.
So, for those of you who thought you could get divorced and never speak to your ex again outside of exchanging the kids every other weekend, think again. The switch from child custody to parenting plans and from visitation to timesharing was not just a change in wording. It has much broader implications for divorced parents.
A Word of Caution…
After having practiced divorce and family law in Jupiter and the surrounding areas for over 35 years, I understand what an emotionally charged, stressful and fearful time this may be for you. The tendency for some divorcing parents is to resort to an ugly battle with their ex spouse. My words of caution and advice: 1) do not assume your children aren’t being affected by it; and 2) try to put aside your own feelings of hurt and anger as much as possible for the best interests of the children.
That is not to say that you don’t stand up for your rights — but remember, that’s what I’m here for. A qualified, experienced family law attorney will aggressively fight FOR you. Your primary job is to take care of your most precious assets – your children – during this difficult time.’
What does ‘Shared Parenting’ Actually Mean?
Shared parental responsibility is a court-ordered relationship in which both parents retain full parental rights and responsibilities and in which both parents consult with each other to make major decisions affecting the welfare of the children. The concept of shared parental responsibility is intended to protect the children’s right to an ongoing relationship with both parents.
Each parent has the right and responsibility to make day-to-day decisions regarding the children’s care, maintenance, and welfare while the children are in his or her care. The parents confer with one another on questions related to religious upbringing, discipline, financial matters, moral training, social and recreational activities, and non-emergency medical and dental care. Each parent takes an active role in providing a sound moral, social, economic and educational environment for the children and in amicably resolving any disputes that arise.
Here’s what’s required of Jupiter parents:
- To conduct themselves in a way that promotes the welfare and best interests of the children
- To promptly notify the other parent of any serious illness or accident affecting the children
- To promote a good relationship between the children and the other parent
- To ensure the children have unimpeded contact with and free access to both parents
- To not belittle the other parent or discuss the divorce in front of the children (basically anything that would hurt the kids’ opinion of the other parent)
If you’re reading this and thinking, There is NO WAY I could do this with my ex! – guess what? You’re not alone.
Now that you’ve learned what shared parenting actually is, you can probably imagine some of the downsides to this model. Read Part 2 for more information about the Pitfalls of Shared Parenting.
George Gelb is a Jupiter divorce lawyer. He was selected Palm Beach & Martin County’s Top Lawyers and voted a Florida SuperLawyer by his peers in the legal field.